When I was looking at universities in 2021 to start my nursing journey, I was 99.9% sure a specialist neonatal nurse was what I wanted to be. I loved the idea. However, as my first year of university came to an end, after spending time in two different placements, the idea of stepping foot into a neonatal unit terrified me. I had looked after children between the ages of 1 and 16 years and seen how scared the parents were when they were in hospital. How was I ever going to manage in a neonatal unit with a baby that was smaller than the palm of my hand and weighed less than a bag of sugar.
The more I thought about it, the more terrified I was. The idea of looking after someone's pride and joy that had decided to arrive a tad earlier than planned was scary. I did not feel prepared. I barely had a grip on how to perform observations on older children, let alone on an arm the size of my pinky finger. Then, in the summer, our placement allocations were released … I scrolled through – and there were the dreaded words ‘neonatal intensive care unit’ (NICU).
For weeks I worried over and over – I told my tutors, family, anyone who would listen to me. However, I decided to get ahead of the game. I knew I could do some reading to learn about parts of the unit and things I may need to know. I would like to say that this eased my fears, but it didn't. On returning to university, I again voiced my concerns and, of course, my tutors rallied behind me explaining that, once I was there, I would feel comfortable. I was not so sure.
Finally, the day came for shift number one, and we were thrown in at the deep end straight into the intensive care unit. There in front of me were 11 tiny babies along with their parents. But standing there were the amazing team of nurses keen to share their knowledge. On my first shift I was asked if I would be happy to turn a baby to prevent body sores and unusual head shape development. I very quickly said ‘no’ – this was one big thing I was not going to do. However, I spoke and observed the multidisciplinary staff on the ward, watching them with the babies, and I was determined that by the end of my 6-week placement I would turn a baby.
Knowledge to share
As the weeks went on in placement, I was becoming more comfortable on the ward. The ward team had so much combined knowledge, I wished I was a sponge to absorb it all. Every time I was worried or had a question, I always asked. I was never met with animosity or grumpiness – always with a friendly smile. I would ask questions of the nursing manager, sisters and, after plucking up the courage, the doctors too. These were always the perfect moments for a learning experience.
The doctors encouraged the questions and observations, especially of X-rays and scans. They always explained and the next time a procedure or scan was needed offered me the chance to observe, question and learn. However, my big challenge still had not been met: I had completed proficiencies and I was flying through, but I just couldn't turn that baby!
I enjoyed being in the special care unit, seeing the smiling faces of parents whose babies had climbed and fought every mountain and hurdle, and who were waiting to hear ‘you are going home today’.
‘Finally, the day came for shift number one, and we were thrown in at the deep end … There in front of me were 11 tiny babies along with their parents’
Deep breath
Then it became busy and the sister in charge explained that the baby in the side room needed full cares, including a turn, there was an expectation that, as I had now been there for 4 weeks, I would be happy to do it. I nodded, I smiled, took a deep breath, all the while looking over to my supervisor who nodded with approval. I did the cares and then it was time. I was nervous. I called my supervisor over and asked her to watch and assist. Then I beamed with pride – I had done it!
I knew that everyone on the ward supported me, knowing every learning opportunity undertaken had enabled this moment, but the sister had given me the biggest opportunity. She had had complete faith in me, as had my supervisor. They knew I had learnt what to do, and had grasped every learning opportunity with both hands. The support I felt in that moment was enormous and I was so grateful. I remember excitedly telling my classmate who was working down the corridor – and she beamed with me.
The main thing I took from this placement – there is always support – even if you don't feel confident in yourself. The staff are there to teach and support you to succeed. Jump in, get excited, but remember that it's OK to be scared and that it's always good to ask for help. Nursing is teamwork.