During my 4-year nursing degree programme, I had the opportunity to meet three male nurses in 2013. Among my university cohort, which consisted of five male nurses, three had already retired by 2015. As a man of colour, my presence in the nursing field is groundbreaking within my culture, as I have yet to encounter another male Bangladeshi nurse. Being a male nurse is already uncommon, but for someone with my heritage to pursue nursing is even more unusual. However, as a compassionate and detail-oriented individual, I was determined to showcase my abilities.
After completing my nursing degree, my first role as a newly qualified nurse was in a management placement. I dedicated myself to becoming a better nurse and learning from the experienced professionals in the industry. I spent months taking notes and conducting research, driven by my youth and passion. In spring 2014, I was nominated by several patients and received an award for providing exceptional patient care.
Within the various wards, there are often cliques, which are groups of staff members who stick together regardless of the circumstances. In my case, some individuals were more accepting than others. I distinctly remember being made to feel that my enthusiasm for a particular specialty was somehow a fault.
During lunch breaks, typically around 3pm, I would sit in the staff room where the female staff would cast disdainful glances at me and avoid any form of communication. I felt strongly that my hard work, willingness to stay late and to take on extra shifts were not valued, and I was not accepted as a colleague or made to feel part of the team.
To my surprise, some of the female staff members even went as far as defacing the posters about my award that were up around the ward and hospital, drawing faces on them. It was mentioned in the staff room that they had intentionally defiled my pictures. It saddened me that despite my dedication and desire to be recognised by patients for providing excellent care, certain female staff members made my working day unbearable. On one occasion, a staff member questioned why I had been nominated and what I had done to deserve such an award. I was taken aback by the words of a seasoned nurse. This encounter deeply affected my nursing spirit, causing me to feel disheartened as I made my way home and observed my fellow nurses either heading home or going to work. However, I found solace in the unconditional love of my family and the knowledge that I pursued this career for them and our life together.
Each step I took as a nurse felt like a mountain to climb. There were times when even a friendly touch on the shoulder from a male nurse would be criticised, whereas the same gesture from a female nurse would not elicit any negative response. It saddened me to think that nursing as a career for men was being undermined. I was hurt by the idea that I might have unintentionally created uncomfortable situations, despite having no derogatory intentions.
By 2015, I had begun to transform into a confident nurse as the clique went their separate ways. I saw opportunities for professional growth, but promotions remained limited. Nevertheless, I continued to build my career by joining Resuscitation Link and teaching new staff about airway management. To compound my feelings of isolation, a fellow male nurse of Italian descent joined the team and was warmly welcomed. This deeply hurt me, as I initially believed that gender was the primary factor, but now it seemed my race may have played a role as well. I never confronted these situations directly, but I couldn't help but cry and wonder why I was being treated in such a deplorable manner. I always welcomed everyone to the team, treating them fairly without judgement.
Despite feeling a distinct lack of support from some senior staff, I remained steadfast and adhered to policies and procedures. By 2017, I had discovered my passion for ophthalmology and theatres, prompting me to embark on a new journey away from the wards.
Working directly with surgeons proved to be a more comfortable experience for me, as there was less drama involved. However, I was taken aback by how enclosed the theatres were. The female staff seemed surprised by my strong work ethic but, overall, the atmosphere here was less hostile and more nurturing. There would still be moments of animosity but I learnt the importance of empathy and active listening in tense situations; I discovered the significance of choosing the right moments for laughter and when to be extra compassionate.
This environment ultimately allowed me to grow and excel, providing me with numerous opportunities for career development. Despite some challenges, I found myself in a favourable position for promotion. I dedicated myself to learning intricate details, such as using key words to support my information and effectively answering interview questions.
As my career progressed, I embarked on various journeys, including working in other eye theatres and private settings. Regardless of my gender, my opinions and work ethic were equally valued in these environments. The initial years of my career left a bitter taste due to the staff dynamics, which led me to maintain a protective barrier.
Luckily, I also took on bank shifts at the hospital to broaden my experience in different areas of nursing. I think patients were often surprised that a male nurse could also demonstrate a gentle and compassionate nature. Eventually, I was promoted to the role of ward manager, which allowed me to showcase my nursing skills and leadership abilities. I consider my time in this position to be a success, as I received positive feedback and accreditation from the head of nursing. Throughout my 19-month tenure, I fostered a strong team and helped many staff members grow and excel in their careers.
After this I was presented with an opportunity to become a theatre manager for an aesthetic company – a completely new environment for me. In this role, I was responsible for examining wounds and providing postoperative care reports to the consultant. Many of these surgeries involved intimate areas, but I always made sure to have a female chaperone present. The patients were grateful for the care they received and were happy to be seen and treated. I felt a deep sense of gratitude for being entrusted with such responsibility and appreciated that I was judged solely on my nursing skills, regardless of my gender. It was a positive step forward.
During some shifts, I had the opportunity to work in the community. In these instances, staff were delighted to have a male presence around. Unfortunately, I did encounter some peculiar remarks from patients. I understand that some of these comments may have been due to the age of the patients, but it was disheartening to be mistaken for a postman, delivery man or cleaner, or even a stranger. Despite wearing a blue nurse uniform, displaying a bright yellow badge, and carrying my ID card, I still faced inquiries. It is somewhat comical now I look back but it does hurt because I worked tirelessly to earn the title of a nurse. I completed numerous assignments and dedicated countless hours to practice. Yet I was still assumed to be someone entirely different, and I was sure that race associations were at play. Therefore, I always maintain a professional demeanour and introduce myself to ensure that patients know who I am. Thankfully, patients appreciate me after their encounters and many remember me fondly.
Eventually I made the decision to return to agency and bank shifts. During this time, I discovered myself working alongside harmonious teams, free of any form of discrimination based on my race or gender. It was at this juncture that I truly felt a sense of accomplishment, having triumphed over a decade of challenges and adversity. I had faced numerous isolating circumstances and even endured bullying that could have jeopardised my professional path. Today, I proudly stand as a beacon of inspiration for both fellow nurses and my own children, demonstrating my unwavering determination to overcome obstacles in the field of nursing and consistently demonstrate my competence.